How to Let Go of Bitterness

By Gena Barnhill @BarnhillGena

We prayed with people who struggled trying to let go of bitterness. This negative ancestral influence also has been active in our bloodlines.

Bitterness is a Stronghold

When we choose to withhold forgiveness for people who have hurt us, bitterness can enter our hearts. Bitterness is an entrenched thought pattern, often referred to as a stronghold. When we remain bitter, we erroneously believe the people who hurt us suffer punishment if we hold onto unforgiveness. We then believe the lie that it is up to us to keep the offense alive.

That is NOT the case. Instead, we are hurting ourselves. The bitterness is robbing us of a close relationship with the Lord, blocking our freedom in Christ, and harming our physical bodies. Holding on to bitterness and anger can negatively impact our blood pressure and immune system and put us at risk for other conditions such as depression, heart disease, and diabetes.*

Have you met people with deep, hardened facial expressions and clenched jaws that suggest a life fraught with difficulty and bitterness? I have. I’ve wondered if they knew they could have peace and freedom in Christ if they would release their bitterness.

Jesus said in Luke 6:27-28, “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”

How to Let Go of Bitterness #prayer #forgiveness Share on X

Bitterness Can Result from Unmet Expectations

Bitterness also can occur when we hold onto unmet expectations. I had forgiven people in my family who hurt me but was surprised when I still felt burdened. I questioned whether I had truly forgiven them since I did not feel at peace or enjoy the freedom I understood forgiveness would bring. The Lord showed me I had forgiven them but was still holding onto unmet expectations that I needed to release to Him. Some people who hurt me were not able to love me in the way I wanted. However, Jesus loves me and He can meet all of my needs.

Bitterness Uses Comparison to Exacerbate the Pain

Bitterness works hard to take hurts and offenses and make them more painful. We focus on the pain and the problem rather than on the Lord who can heal the hurt. Influences connected with bitterness work on expectations and encourage us to compare our situation to others. We can become bitter toward God when we believe He has helped others and not us. This influence uses situations, such as abuse or unfairness, to get us to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have.

Remember, the prime goal of negative ancestral influences is to separate us from God and prevent us from achieving our God-given destiny. The enemy works to get us to believe that God does not care about us and is ignoring our needs. As Christians, we know that Jesus loves us. He died on the cross for our sins. The negative spirits collaborating with bitterness try to persuade us God didn’t really do that for us, just for others, and we are not worthy of His love.

The Blessings 

When we renounce and remove bitterness, we declare we want it gone from us, our children, and our future family. Releasing bitterness allows the Lord to work in our lives. After we ask Him if we are holding on to unrealistic expectations and receive His truth, we can ask the Holy Spirit what He would like to fill us with in place of bitterness.

Prayer recipients typically say at this point that they sense God’s acceptance of them as a beloved child who is worthy and loved unconditionally. God shows them they are forgiven when they repent and helps them to forgive the persons that caused bitterness.

We can take encouragement from Colossians 1:13-14, which says, “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

Steps to Let Go of Bitterness

B- Believe God has our backs and good can come from our difficult situations.

I- Imagine a life without bitterness.

T- Treat others with kindness.

T- Treat ourselves with kindness.

E- Extend forgiveness to those who hurt us. Forgiveness brings our freedom. Let the Lord take care of the offender.

R- Realize holding onto bitterness is hurting us more than our offender(s).

N- Next, ask the Lord to help us release any remaining bitterness in our hearts.

E- Extend forgiveness to ourselves for holding onto unforgiveness.

S- Stay in God’s presence and His Word by communicating with Him throughout the day.

S- Surround ourselves with people who will encourage us.

How has this helped you recognize a recurrent pattern of bitterness and unmet expectations in your family line?

Be sure to leave your thoughts on our Facebook Group Healing Prayer Discussion.

Looking forward to your input.

Blessings,
Gena

 *This is an excerpt from Freedom from Brokenness-Lessons Learned through Inner Healing Prayer (Brookstone Publishing Group 2022)

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on September 5, 2022, and was revamped for comprehensiveness on August 18, 2024.

In case you missed the rest of the Ancestral Influences Series, here is the link to the Archives:

https://simpleeffectiveprayer.com/category/healing-ancestral-wounds/