Learn How to Release False Guilt
By Gena Barnhill @BarnhillGena
Pastor and author R. T. Kendall refers to false guilt as a sense of shame we carry in our hearts that God did not place there.1 We can accept false guilt by believing self-condemning thoughts when we don’t meet our expectations or the expectations of others. The enemy, our accuser, also plants lies in our heads so that we will carry false guilt and condemnation.
The enemy consistently brings up our past and reminds us of our failures causing us to hang on to false guilt and turn away from God. The shame associated with false guilt makes us believe we are inherently flawed. Shame focuses on who we are—our identity. True guilt focuses on behavior we can change and receive freedom after confession. The Lord promises to forgive our sins when we repent.
I often experienced false guilt when I accepted responsibility for other people’s behavior that was not mine. I believed the enemy’s lies I was not a good enough mother, sister, daughter, and friend when I could not please the people in those relationships. Later, I realized I was not responsible for their happiness, and I renounced the lies I had believed about my responsibility.
We have prayed with people who believed God could never forgive them. Their false guilt and resulting shame led them away from God. Most people repented for their sins and received God’s grace and forgiveness during inner healing prayer sessions. When they encountered the Lord in prayer, they realized their identity was in Christ and what He did for them. It was not on what they did.
Learn How to Release False Guilt #guilt #SpiritualWarfare #prayer Share on XExamples of False Guilt
- Jennifer felt bad because she had not contacted her friend, Kayla when work required overtime hours for the past two weeks. Therefore, she decided to visit Kayla after work on Friday. The conversation seemed to flow easily until Jennifer asked for her coat. Kayla said, “Leaving so soon? When Kristy comes over, she stays for hours.” The tightness in her gut left her guarded and speechless. That old familiar guilt about not being a good enough friend returned.
- Lindsay and Jacob have been good parents who set reasonable boundaries and clear and consistent guidelines for their children. When the store security guard caught their 15-year-old son shoplifting, Jacob’s mother said, “How could you and Lindsay let that happen? Good parents do not have children who get in trouble with the law. They always know where their children are.” Shaking their heads, they asked each other, “Where did we go wrong? How could we have been so irresponsible to let this happen?”
- Sherry finds it difficult to say “no” whenever asked to volunteer at school. She is afraid of what others will think if she declines a request. She believes a good teacher should always be available to serve others. Consequently, she says “yes,” when asked to volunteer for school committees. She then feels overwhelmed with the added responsibilities and time commitments. Whenever she says “no” to a request, she feels false guilt because she does not meet her unrealistic expectations.
True Guilt
When we sin, the Holy Spirit convicts us of the truth so we will turn to God and accept His grace. God’s grace is greater than our guilt. Recognizing true guilt for our mistakes is freeing because we can repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness. We are never outside the reach of God’s love and mercy. He made a way for us through Jesus Christ who went to the cross to bear our sins.
If we truly accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and repent for our sins, Romans 8:1 says, There is therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
First John 1:9 says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The Holy Spirit does not condemn us. The enemy condemns and wants us to believe we are outside of God’s love and mercy and that God will never forgive us. The enemy wants us to have unrealistic expectations so when we do not meet them we experience false guilt.
Hebrews 4:16 says, Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need.
How Can We Discern False Guilt from True Guilt That Needs Repentance?
F– Fellowship with the Lord. Spend time each day talking to Him. The more time we spend with Him, the more we will recognize His voice. The more we know the Lord’s voice, the more we can discern the enemy’s voice. The enemy condemns us while the Lord convicts us of the truth.
A– Ask the Lord for His direction throughout our day and forgiveness when we have believed the enemy’s lies.
L– Lean into the Lord daily and listen for His truth. He does not lie, and He will not let us down. He has our backs.
S–Stand firm against the enemy’s lies and related expectations. When we sense a lie from the enemy, call him out and declare we are not partnering with his lies because we belong to the Lord.
E– Embrace our identity as beloved children of God. We are never outside the reach of God’s love and mercy. Thank the Lord for His grace and mercy. Release all false guilt to Him.
Before I share a prayer with you, I would love for you to have an opportunity to chime in. What thoughts do you have regarding false guilt? How do you discern false guilt from true guilt?
Be sure to share them in our Facebook Group Healing Prayer Discussion.
We are all stronger when we learn from each other. Looking forward to your input.
Blessings,
Gena
1R. T. Kendall, How to Forgive Ourselves-Totally (Lake FL: Charisma House, 2007), 33.
Prayer for Freedom from Captivity to False Guilt
Lord, you have made it clear in Your Word that you came to set the captives free and heal the brokenhearted. I want to be free of false guilt. Help me to know what responsibilities you have given me and what responsibilities are not mine. Forgive me for taking on burdens You never intended for me to carry and for accepting false guilt when I did not think I could measure up. Lord, You told us that Your yoke is easy, and Your burden is light. Lord, I give you my false guilt. In return, I accept Your yoke. Amen.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on January 2, 2023, and was revamped for comprehensiveness on January 19, 2025.
In case you missed the rest of the Ancestral Influences Series, here is the link to the Archives:
https://simpleeffectiveprayer.com/category/healing-ancestral-wounds/
