8 Steps to Forgiveness and Freedom
By Gena Barnhill @BarnhillGena
We can forgive those who have hurt us by following the 8 Steps to Forgiveness approach.
Anita’s Story
Anita requested a prayer appointment with the healing prayer team at her church. Following introductions and thanking Anita for her willingness to come for prayer and her desire for healing, her prayer team asked what she would like Jesus to do for her.
She immediately responded she needed Jesus to heal her broken heart. “My best friend betrayed me by dating the man I said I was interested in. How can I ever forgive her?” She choked back sobs and her eyes focused on the floor. “How could she do this to me? I will never forgive her. She does not deserve my forgiveness!” Anita searched the faces around her. “I shouldn’t forgive her, right? After all, what she knowingly did to me is unforgivable. I would never do such a thing.”
Steps to Forgiveness and Freedom
The prayer team said it is often difficult to forgive someone who has wounded us. Most importantly, they emphasized forgiveness benefits us, not our offenders. Furthermore, it frees us when we relinquish the person and the situation to the Lord and declare we forgive them. The Lord is then able to heal our wounded hearts by taking away the pain of the hurtful memory. Deciding to forgive is a choice we need to make to experience the peace the Lord has for us.
Anita’s plea for healing from a broken heart resonates with many of us who have faced betrayal and hurt at the hands of others. Forgiveness is often an arduous journey, but it leads to healing and freedom. Let’s examine the eight steps to forgiveness and freedom.
8 Steps to Forgiveness and Freedom #prayer #forgiveness #healing Share on X8 Steps to Forgiveness Approach
- Recognize the Offense. This may sound obvious. However, we may feel agitated, anxious, fearful, or angry and may not realize the root of these emotions is a decision to feel offended. Admitting we have been hurt is crucial in beginning the healing process.
- Remove Bitterness. If bitterness has set in, quickly remove its legal right to remain by confessing our bitterness to Jesus. We do not want to give the enemy a reason to stay. Shut that door. This could be as simple as asking Jesus to take the offense and share His truth about the situation.
- Choose to Forgive. Forgiveness is a conscious choice. It is not a feeling. The offender could be yourself. I frequently found it more difficult to forgive myself than to forgive others until I realized that if the Lord had already forgiven me, I had no right to hold onto unforgiveness toward myself. If you struggle to forgive, ask the Lord for His help. He will gladly step in and help.
- Release the Debt. Declare we release the wrongdoers from any debt they owe us. Forgiving someone doesn’t imply what they did was right or acceptable. By choosing to release that debt and let go of the hold it has on us, we free ourselves from being bound by the offense.
- Repent for Judging. If we have judged the person(s) who wounded us, we need to release all judgments we made against them. Consequently, this opens the door to God’s mercy and forgiveness in our lives. In Matthew 7: 1-2, Jesus cautioned us when He said, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
- Place Them on Jesus’s Hook. Visualize taking the offender off our hook and then placing them on Jesus’s hook. We want to turn the person and the situation completely over to Jesus to deal with as He will. Consequently, we give up our right to seek revenge by trusting Jesus to handle the matter justly.
- Renew Our Minds. Ask the Lord to renew our minds before we allow bitterness to take root. He can help us dismantle old thoughts and replace them with new ones. In addition, Jesus can restore what we lost after surrendering our right to hang on to unforgiveness.
- Ask for the Lord’s Truth and Compassion. Finally, we ask the Lord to share His truth and compassion in the situation. God’s love and grace both enable us to extend forgiveness and cultivate a heart of compassion. Ask Him to show you how He sees the offender and for His help to bless that person.*
In Summary
Forgiving others who hurt us can be challenging, but it is an essential step toward healing and experiencing emotional freedom. The Lord’s transformative power will equip us to forgive and, as a result, enjoy the peace and restoration it brings. To clarify, forgiveness is not excusing the offense. In other words, it is a choice we make to release the power the offense has over us.
*Adapted from: Gena Barnhill, Freedom from Brokenness-Lessons Learned through Inner Healing Prayer (Birmingham, AL: Brookstone Publishing Group 2022), 13-17.
When have you asked the Lord for His grace to help forgive your offenders? What are some things you have done to release someone who has offended or hurt you? Be sure to share your thoughts and comments on our Facebook Group Healing Prayer Discussion.
Looking forward to your input.
Blessings,
Gena
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on May 16, 2022, and was revamped for comprehensiveness on May 5, 2024.
